The BEST Way For Couples To Be Ready For a
… “Most people outside the Lifestyle may assume that those who are inside are just looking to have sex with people other than their partner. In the vast majority of cases, I’ve found that not to be true. Every couple is different and in it for their own reasons. Some, like me, may be looking to expand their friendships. While others could be seeking a safe place for their bi-curiosity, or a yearning for exhibitionism or voyeurism; giving their partner the gift of fantasy fulfillment might be the reason for some, or igniting a needed spark into a ho-hum sex life. And some couples have no
desire to get involved with other people. They just find the excitement of being in a very sexy environment brings a jolt of spice to their own relationship.Why they are in the Lifestyle doesn’t really matter. What’s important is that they are in it together.
That’s why it’s so important for a couple to have “The Talk”.
The Talk is simply one or more conversations in which both partners in a relationship openly and honestly tell each other about their desires and their thresholds. This is where the trust building begins.
Maybe she’s not comfortable being penetrated by another man. Maybe he doesn’t want another man touching him. Maybe she is completely open to some girl-girl fun. But, she is not okay with any mention
of anal intercourse. Or maybe they’re both good to go for whatever comes their way. No matter what their preferences and thresholds are, they’re all okay. But they both need to be on the same page; otherwise misunderstandings and trouble will always follow.
It’s also important to have The Talk before traveling to an erotic resort, and waiting to see what happens. And especially before your first encounter with others if that’s what you’re looking for. (Remember the couple on the beach I mentioned before.)
Having The Talk should be a casual, relaxed conversation where you’re open, disarmed, and receptive to hearing your partner’s honest desires and thresholds without judgment. That’s the key-without judgment. Stay focused. Remain open-minded and respectful of the other person. You don’t need to agree. You just need to listen.
Obviously, this is not something you do at the beginnings of a relationship. A couple needs to be sexually active for a while, yet still be willing and curious to explore beyond what has become their routine.
I’ve heard of some couples that watch porn together and use it as a springboard for opening up about fantasies and having The Talk. Just searching through porn sites on the web and choosing what to watch will tell you a lot about your partner.
Others might cuddle in bed at night after some fantasy role-play and ask, “Would you ever like to do that for real?” And others might have a few drinks in a quiet corner of their favorite bar and wander into the conversation as a way of verbally arousing each other.
“Sexting” can work too. I’m not just talking about ‘dick pics’ or ‘tit pics’. (Although if you enjoy the excitement of that, why not?) No, I’m talking about exchanging desirous thoughts or invitations with your lover. Once you’ve established a level of intimacy, it’s a great way to introduce something new. Luke and I do it all the time. You find an exciting photo on the web that expresses what you’re thinking, copy it to your phone, add a provocative caption to it, and send it to your lover. Not only will it be an unexpected shot of erotic adrenaline to their day, but it also tosses a notion on the table for reaction or discussion. Plus, if your partner is intrigued, you’ve broken new sexual ground. And, if they’re not, you can dismiss it as just being a ‘wild hair’. It’s an easy way to express a desire and start a discussion without having to face the topic directly; sample the water, see if there’s any interest or curiosity. Who knows, it might open up a whole new avenue to explore for both of you.
However you do it, having The Talk is a must. It ensures security for both partners and helps you both avoid any feelings of jealousy, betrayal,
For more information on The Talk, go to www.josettearmand.com Or, to learn everything you need to know before you go, get your copy of